Now, hearing that John had been handed over, he withdrew into Galilee. 

And, departing from Nazareth, he came and took up his dwelling in Capernaum beside the sea, in the territories of Zebulon and Naphthali: So that there might be fulfilled what was spoken by Isaiah the Prophet, saying, 

“Land of Zebulon and land of Naphthali, sea road, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations, The people sitting in darkness saw a great light, and light dawned upon those sitting in the region and shadow of death.”

From that time Jesus began to make his proclamation and to say, “Change your hearts; for the Kingdom of the heavens has drawn near.” 

Matthew 4:12-17 (DBH)

I’ve recently been reading a book on the priesthood called, Spiritual Fatherhood: Evagrius Ponticus on the Role of the Spiritual Father by Gabriel Bunge. I am a priest, after all.

What’s most interesting is that I’ve learned that spiritual fatherhood starts by following the same path that all Christians are called to walk.  

Firstly, the spiritual father must acquire the virtues in order to overcome the vices. 

This entails learning and keeping the commandments. Evagrius calls this praxis, the Greek word for “acts.” 

Through this asceticism, it is hoped that the spiritual father reaches a state of dispassion (apatheia) so that the passionate part of his soul is purified. 

Once he has accomplished this, he granted knowledge of God and his creation through contemplation. This is how Evagrius describes it,

“He who has anchored himself firmly in the virtues and has mixed himself entirely with them, he, I say, thinks no more of the law, or the commandments, or the punishments, but rather he says and does that which his noble disposition tells him.”

It is praxis with knowledge, but it’s also an experience of Christ: a meeting of the divine in which an individual becomes a person in relationship. 

All this is important because Bunge describes the role of the spirtual father in this way,

“The point of spiritual fatherhood is none other than the experience of transcending one’s own individuality in the encounter with an ‘other’ who bears the age-old name of ‘father,’ because in this transcendence this other becomes the ‘begetter’ of individual personhood.”

But only after the spiritual father has undertaken this journey can he also help others on this road; only then can he help others encounter Christ. 

Yet, it must all begin by overcoming the vices. But how does one begin?

I think Christ gives us the answer in today’s reading, “Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand.”  

As my parish knows, though my readers may not, I’ve been diagnosed with a granuloma on my vocal cords. I started noticing problems with my voice in mid-September. Since then, my voice has been in steady decline. It’s finally gotten to the point that I can barely make it through just a Liturgy without losing my voice.

As a priest who uses his voice for living—3 hours of chanting every Sunday morning, 2 hours of teaching Bible study, another 2 hours of teaching catechumen classes every week, plus visitations and meetings—this is not a good thing.

After a few misdiagnosis and repeated doctor visits, I’ve been blessed to have found a wonderful speech pathologist at the Mayo Clinic, a compassionate vicar, and an understanding congregation who all have taken an active role in my healing process—a progress that has had to include repentance, a change of heart. 

For me, right now, I’m learning that repentance means learning how to step back so I can heal. 

It has required me to set aside the ego that tells me that I have to be in control. It has meant that I’ve learned to trust the community I’ve surrounded myself with. It has meant learning patience to allow Christ to heal both my soul and body.  

This call to repentance has been frustrating. I like being in the middle of things. I enjoy taking an active role actives at the church, and I receive life from being able to sit and speak with parishioners. All of that has been taken away—at least temporarily.

But, when I pull back to contemplate the big picture, I see that I needed a change of heart. I needed this time of repentance. This was my first step to healing and encountering the living Lord who condescended to be baptized for our salvation. 

May 2023 be a time of repentance for all of us. Amen.

What I’ve Learned from Being Voiceless

Post navigation


4 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned from Being Voiceless

  1. Interesting thoughts here, Fr. D.

    Above read, ““The point of spiritual fatherhood is none other than the experience of transcending one’s own individuality in the encounter with an ‘other’ who bears the age-old name of ‘father,’ because in this transcendence this other becomes the ‘begetter’ of individual personhood.”

    But only after the spiritual father has undertaken this journey can he also help others on this road; only then can he help others encounter Christ.”

    I know and have met those Priests and lay Christians who really do portray what is mentioned in this article. I appreciate them dearly.

    In reality, I’d have to say that we all are on various levels in this asceticism or piety if we’re trying to walk with Christ. In fact from my own experience in my own life, it seems that we are not only on different levels from each other. Individually in our own experiences, we move up and down between levels during our lives. I am not saying that there is no one who is spiritually fit to help others walk the “way”, but that in each of our own struggles, at whatever level or course we may be on, we can help someone else find Christ. We can minister to an “other”.

    Blessings on your voice.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.